We are agreed when it comes to boundaries, and how important they are. I think they are at pretty much the same level too; I might reach my boundaries a tiny bit before he reaches his, but that could be circumstantial. Yes, it probably is. So they are about the same.
I do think however that we have different views of mental and emotional boundaries. I probably worry more about keeping our thoughts on good safe topics, and he is mostly focusing on whether we are going too far physically. I’m not sure I can describe the difference there fluently enough, but it is a difference. One Sunday, when we were in church, my defenses must have been down, and I was having a hard time keeping my thoughts on the sermon. I told SM about it, and his response was – “Well – but we were in church, it’s not like anything could have happened.”
Which is true, but that was not really my point. Purity isn’t just about not having sex or not kissing.
Anyway, I’ll have to discuss this aspect on our next visit. Somehow I don’t think he’s really put too much thought into how he is feeling emotionally at a given time! And I’m not expecting a guy to come up with all this emotional stuff to analyze; but it wouldn't hurt for him to know a little about how I feel. I promise not to overwhelm him.