Kinfolks

 I can’t say how thankful I am for the women who have gone through awful trials and pain, and have written down their stories. Especially those who have blessed God through all of the hardship, and offer advice and a friendly hand up to those who are still pushing through. Ditto for those who’ve fought through addiction and temptation, and have shared their deepest struggles.

I’ve just been handed such a refreshing bit of understanding and encouragement from a woman just a few steps further along the road than I am. Currently engaged, but she knew about her guy’s addiction before dating him. And even so, I’m not going through as much awfulness as she is, because SM is already in recovery, and was when he told me about this. And I keep coming to the “why oh lord such love to me?” point.

She said not to get too mommy-ish over it, and try taking control, but to ask all my questions without fear. And to keep looking to God, and not to be co-dependent on SM. And to make sure I really truly feel at peace with the whole situation.

She put it in a much nicer way than I am, of course. And offered some very very comforting sympathy with my situation.

And somebody else, though not in reply to me, highlighted the importance of being unconditional. Either you can handle it and you need to commit fully, or you can’t, and you need to not even begin.  She said how important is to love him for the good in him; she also gave made an excellent differentiation between dreamy in-love-ness, and real sacrificial sweat-and-tears love.

Isn’t that just the best ever?